Thursday, July 01, 2004


Marriage. The most feared word for some people. A friend once said "It is just an agreement. An official agreement.". True. But it is also about security, responsibility and commitment. "But you can have those things even though you are not married." He argued. He was talking about living together.

Yesterday, Mami informed me that a cousin is getting married. First thing I asked her...

Papi : 'buut' already ah?
(papimami language meaning pregnant)

Mami : yalor.

Papi : Hah? For the second time?

Mami : he he he yalor..

Papi : Why? don't know how ah?

Mami : Cannot tahan maybe..he he he

You see, this is the second time this has happened to this Cousin. And it was just 6 months apart. On the first occasion, Cousin came back and told the family that he was going to get married because the girlfriend was pregnant. Preparation were done for the marriage and the family were happy because their boy was getting married and they gonna have a grandchild. A buy-one-free-one deal. A month later, she had a miscarriage. So what Cousin do? Called off the marriage of course.

Then it happen again. He got the girlfriend pregnant again. Talking about learning from your mistake. Haven't this guy heard of condom, pills and withdrawal? So now the marriage is on, again. I don't know how the fiance feels about this. Is he marrying her just because he wants to be responsible, or is it because he is for real?

It seems like a trend nowadays. Boy meets girl. Boy bangs girl. Girl pregnant. Boy marries girl. And we are talking about boys and girls in their early adulthood. Too early to become parents. Too early to have kids.

In the old days, it is consider a disgrace to the family, if such a thing happen. Even to the extent that the family will disowned the son/daughter (daughter, most of the time). But I guess, it is now accetable to today's society.

Mami has her own idea. She said "If a boy marries a girl just because she is pregnant, then it is because he wants to be responsible. He is forced to marry her simply because of pressure from family and the society." When Mami and I was leaving Malaysia to study oversea, I remember my mom and dad told me "Don't you go two person, come back three person.". I am glad I did't.