Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Newton pengsan ...

Read about this from Jeff Ooi's Screenshots.

A PROF SHAUKAT MAHMOOD wrote a letter to NST on 28 June 2004.
Even Newton would faint at some scenes in Tamil movies

RECENTLY Isaac Newton, the father of physics, made a visit to Earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Tamil movies and his head was in a spin. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologised for everything he had done. Here are a few scenes from Vijayakanth’s movies:
Vijayakanth has a brain tumour which, according to the doctors, can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Vijayakanth is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumour along with it and he is cured. Long live Vijayakanth!

Vijayakanth is confronted with three gangsters. He has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does? He throws a knife at the gangster standing in the centre and shoots at the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into two pieces, killing both the gangsters flanking the one in the centre, while the knife kills the middle one.

Vijayakanth is chased by a gangster. Vijayakanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess, what he does? No, not even in your remotest imagination. As soon as the gangster shoots, Vijayakanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun ... and the gangster dies.

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he stayed around to watch another movie, thinking that at least it will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes on fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed.

Oops! Not so fast. The climax finally arrives. Vijayakanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. It’s so high that Vijayakanth can’t jump even if he tries one of those superman techniques our heroes normally use.

He has to desperately kill the villain. Vijayakanth pulls out two guns from his pocket. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun reaches the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in the air with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead. Newton faints!

You mean there were no dancing on the mountain in Switzerland, then singing in the park in Malaysia, then rolling on the beach in Australia, before ending the song somewhere in the Antartica?